I sent the following email to my "Attachment Parenting Spirited Kids" Yahoo Group. I'm anxiously awaiting some responses!
Hello fellow parents in the trenches,
I need some advice for my spirited guy. Lately, it feels that he takes a contrary position to my every wish. Most tryingly, he opposes my wish to leave the house in the morning. He doesn't want to get dressed, doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to let me comb his hair. And his opposition is far from mild... oh, no... these are daily battles of Herculean proportion: screaming, back bending, tears, snot—-picture Cerberus with rabies.
Once we manage to arrive at our destination (preschool, a friend's house,) he is content--thrilled, even--to be there. The transition itself is the problem. I'm expecting him to forgo present gratification (warm, cozy jammies) in favor of an abstract event in the future, however desirable it may be (playing with friends). I try to reason with him: "We need to get dressed in order to go out and play", but it doesn't seem to help. I try offering choices of dress "the yellow shirt or the red shirt", but that doesn't help either. Most often, I wrestle the clothes over his writhing body, as he yells in protest. We finally leave the house, late, both in tears.
He is a typical toddler, but with an extremely persistent, intense and emotional personality. My personality isn't the most flexible, either! I have strong emotional reactions of my own.
What helps your spirited toddler get ready in the morning? Any advice is appreciated.
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3 comments:
I recall this phase (my child will be 15 in January, so it's a while ago), but my recollection is that is passes quickly. If he became too agitated, I would stop and try again in a few minutes. I recall that I was late everywhere for a few months.
Doug (cousin, once removed)
Thanks, Doug, for reminding me that in no time at all Andy will be a teenager, and I'll be missing this phase. I hope it does pass quickly, though!
Did my Dad send you this link? Your message was a nice surprise.
Hey Barabara,
Cayenne does the backbend howl too! I turn on cheesy kids music or sing to her and she will often stop the struggle long enough to get dressed. I just started pinning her down to brush her teeth while she sobs( the music does not help then). It used to work to get her dressed in front of the mirror (not anymore). I have friends who braid their girls hair in front of the TV. Any distraction tecnique is good.
Sunshine
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